


can you not

by Dyal



Category: Bleach
Genre: (because shinji), (do i write anything else? no.), (mostly Ichigo and only because shinji is a bastard), (which he is), Bad Flirting, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Flirting, M/M, This is more of a drabble, because I apparently can't have Ichigo and Shinji interacting without one of them cursing, but oh well, cursing, oblivious ichigo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-27
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:21:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22927864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dyal/pseuds/Dyal
Summary: "If ya were a Transformer, ya'd be Optimus Fine."There’s a beat of absolute silence before Ichigo looks up from his book to give Shinji a horrified stare. "What the actual hell?""It's a wordplay on one o' the character from these famous movies—""Yes, I know," Ichigo interrupts, glaring. "I have watched the movies, Shinji, I got the reference. I'm wonderingwhy."
Relationships: Hirako Shinji/Kurosaki Ichigo
Comments: 11
Kudos: 194





	can you not

**Author's Note:**

> Google docs told me this was 969 words and despite not liking odd numbers, I can't mess with that. (not even though AO3 says a different number.) So I totally blame any and all mistakes on the number because I couldn't risk messing it up ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ~~totally not because this is completely unbeta'd, nope. that's not relevant at all~~
> 
> [Razia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Razia/pseuds/Razia) is The Best and can't _not_ be mentioned even though she didn't actually help me beta this one x'D She's just that awesome, not my fault ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

"If ya were a Transformer, ya'd be Optimus Fine."

There’s a beat of absolute silence before Ichigo looks up from his book to give Shinji a horrified stare. "What the actual hell?" 

"It's a wordplay on one o' the character from these famous movies—" 

"Yes, I know," Ichigo interrupts, glaring. "I have watched the movies, Shinji, I got the reference. I'm wondering _why_." 

Shinji shrugs nonchalantly. "Read it somewhere, thought it was cool." 

"Cool," Ichigo deadpans. He looks like there’s a long list of other words he would rather have used. Then he shakes his head and turns back to his book. "You know what? Never mind. I will just forget this ever happened." 

He does.

-

"Are ya sure ya aren’t a parking ticket? Because ya’ve got fine written all over ya."

Ichigo stops dead in the doorway, blinking, before he shakes it off and enters. "Shinji? What are you doing in my room again? And parking ticket what? Because I'm wearing a yellow t-shirt? Don't an asshole, it's not like your shirt looks any better." 

He drops his backpack with a groan by the door, before stomping over to the bed and the very much uninvited individual currently occupying it. "Move over, I'm gonna take a nap. Wake me up in 30 minutes?" 

He doesn't wait for an answer before falling face first into the mattress and is out like a light. 

Shinji carefully tucks Ichigo under the covers before he picks up his phone. Time to see how many levels he can clear in 30 minutes 

-

"If ya were a flower ya’d be a damnnndelion."

Shinji is leaning casually against the back of the couch when Ichigo enters, and he stops to take in the relaxed posture, loosely crossed arms, and the intent gaze. It almost feels like there’s something he’s missing, and while normally Ichigo would get to the bottom of that straight away, he’s currently got a huge bag of take-out in each hand and he’s hungry. 

“What the fuck, Shinji,” he says instead, kicking off his shoes and moving towards the kitchen. “I really hope you don’t say stuff like that when you’re hitting on people, because you’re more likely to get a fist to the face.” 

When there’s no reply or movement from the living room, Ichigo pokes his head back out. “Oi, did you die? Come on, let’s eat before the food gets cold. You’re the one who wanted Chinese today.” 

He turns back without waiting for an answer and misses the glance Shinji throws him, eyes dark and thoughtful. 

-

When there's a knock on his widow, Ichigo groans and slams his head against the desk. Barely a second later there's another knock and he pushes out of his chair with a growl. Even before the window is fully open and Shinji can climb in, he starts talking. 

“Shinji, I swear to god. Why do you always have to come through the window? Can you not, for _once_ in your unnecessarily long life, use the door like a normal person? Do you have any idea the weird looks the neighbours are giving me, seeing a man climbing in and out of my window? The _rumours_? We have a perfectly working front door, with a doorbell!” 

Shinji keeps quiet until Ichigo stops to breathe, and then looks him dead in the eye. "I'm thirsty, and guess whose body is 75% water?"

Ichigo is left gaping at him as Shinji swings his feet over the windowsill and keeps talking.

"It's a good thing I'm wearin' gloves, because ya're too hot for me ta handle.” He slides down to stand on the floor, almost chest to chest until Ichigo takes a few steps back. “It’s handy that I have a library card, ‘cause I’m totally checkin’ ya out.” 

“What are you—” Ichigo finally bursts out, but he’s interrupted by the way Shinji groans.

"Ya are so slow.” He grabs both of Ichigo's hands and puts them on his chest. "Feel my shirt. Do ya know what it's made of?" 

Ichigo blinks. _What_. “Cotton?” he guesses, confused.

Shinji rolls his eyes so hard Ichigo feels quite offended. Like _he’s_ the one not making sense right now. 

"Boyfriend material." 

There's a loaded pause, like Shinji is waiting for Ichigo to realize something, but he has absolutely no idea what’s going on. Until he suddenly does.

"Are you flirting with me?!" 

Shinji grins, looking entirely too satisfied with himself. "Have been fer a while, but thanks fer finally noticin'. Took ya long enough." 

Ichigo is speechless. Shinji is— Shinji is _flirting_? With _him?_ And he ‘has been for a while’? Since when?! He can’t have been, Ichigo would have noticed if— 

When the last piece finally clicks into place, he wastes no time in finding Shinji’s stomach with his fist. Hard. 

"You idiot! What made you think horrible pick up lines was a good idea?” Ichigo growls. “All you had to do was ask!" 

And now it's Shinji's turn to stare, speechless, as red blooms high on Ichigo’s cheeks and keeps growing brighter the longer the silence goes on. 

"What?" he finally snaps.

Shinji’s grin is humongous. “All I had ta do was ask, eh?” 

Despite his obvious embarrassment, Ichigo does not look away, his gaze steady and posture relaxed even as his cheeks nearly glow in the sunlight, and Shinji can’t help the delighted laughter. 

"Would ya like ta join me fer dinner tonight, then?” he asks. “As in an actual date,” he throws in, just to watch the way Ichigo immediately scowls at him. 

“Yes, I got that, you bastard,” he grumbles. But his eyes are soft and he’s grinning within seconds, unable to help it. “Sure, I’d like that.”

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, all of the bad pick-up lines are from this one article or something I stumbled across somewhere. All the blame goes there ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> I actually wrote this as a drabble .... probably early last year? when I was struggling with writer's block, and I'd forgotten about it until recently when we got some new people in the [ShinIchi-discord server](https://discord.gg/v9Raj5W) and we were talking about content and having to make our own because there's not enough ShinIchi-stuff to satisfy our hunger. Somehow I remembered it and wanted to share it but I'd only posted it directly in the server so I had dive deep and find it first. Then Razia said I should post it here so there was no need to hunt it down if somebody wanted to read it. Which I didn't want to, because I felt it was too short. Then I woke up today and realized that 1. that was a bad excuse because I was insecure about the quality and 2. Razia was right, as she always is. So here we are x'D 
> 
> If you got all the way here - thanks for reading <3 \o/


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